My Future Calling?

There’s a time in life when your head says stop,

At the same time my heart would rather not.

I’ve played overseas and I want much more,

But the world around me is shutting the door.

It’s not easy having wings like these,

It’s too hard for everyone to be pleased.

I scratch my head and bite heard on my lip,

I just can’t help but rock this ship.

If I stop will I ever start again,

If you made me you couldn’t be my friend.

So I stand still head turning in the wind,

Listening for a whistle hoping it will sing.

Lost in freedom and spoilt by choice,

Need an ear to listen to the cries in my voice.

The world offers handcuffs as a comfortable fit,

Do I offer my wrists and willingly sit.

I’ve started putting to bed my adventurous side,

The clamouring of society will see me die.

My will will be bent to the needs of normality,

My heart will surely be my life’s truest casualty.

Maybe in the shadows of London’s towers,

I’ll be able to find a new set of powers.

With my hands together I will pray to God,

That I can see a career and smile and nod.

A fork in my road is approaching fast,

How much longer can my heartbeat last?

My resolve will be tested a thousand times over,

I can shrink under pressure or become a grower.

My choices now shape my eternity,

Tossing and turning wanna do right by me.

There are horizons that are someway off,

Maybe I’m cut from a different cloth.

Do people understand the struggle within,

Trying to share deep secrets with my kin.

Like waves on a rock that continually crash,

I beat myself with a metaphorical lash.

Is the sun setting on an idealistic endeavor,

I’m so fearful that I’ll regret it forever.

Making decisions is so fricken hard,

Life has dealt me only this set of cards.

As I open my eyes to the mornings light,

Wondering if it’s right to put up a fight.

I roll over, close my eyes surrendering,

Maybe my dreams will reveal my happy ending.

 

Matt Cook 2016